Tuesday, March 31, 2009

AND THEN THERE WAS MAN


7 years ago my first Sir Tony Buff introduced me to the leather/bdsm scene. I met Tony during the year he was serving out his title as Washington State Mr. Leather and would soon became his first official collared boy. We had allot of firsts together during those 3 memorable years but as you will find out from this blog, sometimes we get a calling so after 3 years we parted ways and went on very different paths. For almost 4 years we didn't speak or see each other. A year ago, I found myself back in the scene. So I made the decision to reach out to the only person who would understand. I anxiously e-mailed Tony and to my delight, He responded with open and excited arms. In December 2008 we made the move to reconnect and not surprisingly, it was like we had just seen each other the day before.
Many things had changed in those 4 years, most notably the fact that Tony had become a well known star of Gay Porn or "Art Films" as he likes to call it. As well as already having a collared boy Derek da Silva who was a star in his own right and had introduced Tony to the industry. I wasn't sure where I would fit in to this new dynamic but Tony and I both realized after our reconnection in december that our bond ran deep and had never been broken even though we went on very different journeys for several years. So on Feb 1st 2009 after an almost 4 year gap from the day he uncollared me, I anxiously asked for my collar back. He answered with " It's yours for the taking" So I was re-collared by the only man who has ever possessed me mind, body and soul.

A PARADOX

A paradox is a statement(s) or a situation that leads to an apparant contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth. the puzzling result is not really a contradiction, or the premises themselves are not all really true or cannot all be true together. The word paradox is often used interchangeably with contradiction. Often, mistakenly, it is used to describe situations that are ironic.

Monday, March 30, 2009

IN THE BEGINING

For most of my 20's I had a very conventional gay life and my experience and knowledge of the world of Leather/BDSM and Fetish was limited and uniformed to say the least.
On Sep. 11 2001 my limited and naive view of all aspects of life and humanity was quickly shattered into a million pieces as it was for so many others and I suddenly found myself questioning everything, everyone and grasping for answers to questions I didn't concern myself with when one lives in an uninformed and delusional bubble .
It is the one moment that I can say was not unique to me, but the whole world. What is unique is the cause and effect reaction this event had on humanity and this is where my story really begans. It would be the beginning of a most awesome journey.
There is a Kabbalistic saying "Are you walking the dog or is the dog walking you" I didn't even know there was a dog, "what the fuck, I don't see no dog".  But I would soon find out "who is the master and who is the slave" in what would be a series of beautiful examples of the paradox of life.
footnote: dog is a metaphor for the "ego"