Saturday, February 27, 2010
I feel very compelled to write this post in light of all the earthquakes and Tsunamis in our midst as of late. What I am about to say may upset and even offend some or allot of people to which I will respond. Good! It's called waking up and I"ve had to reprogram my own "self" to always examine and investigate anything that makes me angry or upset. In actuality it's not your "self" at all that is getting angry it is the ego. If you listen carefully, your true "Self" will resonate quite well with what I am about to pass on.
Evolution is a term to define only one organism and that is the "Self." The "Self" is the universe, the "Self" is the Alpha and Omega, G-d and Infinity, and that's the only thing that evolves because we are all part of the "Self."
Nothing goes through an evolutionary process alone or without direct benefit to the whole. So when you begin to think there is this controlling elite, or man behind the iron curtain controlling the planet to destruction. When you think the end is near, the apocalypse, Armageddon, and when you think we as a species are doomed. It is not THEY, it is YOU that brought this about and for a very good reason, you are evolving. Stop blaming everybody else. Quit panicking about global tyranny and natural disasters and pay attention, because the world is telling you something. The world is telling you exactly what is wrong with it and how to fix it.
I invite you all to watch this idea in documentary form, it will expand your mind beyond anything you can imagine. KYMATICA - THE FILM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
This weekend my friend Stephane Donalson (Mr International Rubber2009) and marketing director for Priape Canada returns to Vancouver after facilitating a very successful Mr. Rubber Vancouver contest in June to usher in the long overdue return of Mr. Leather Vancouver. It also marks the return of my Sir Tony Buff to Vancouver who will not only serve as a judge for the competition but offer a special Shibari Bondage Workshop Saturday afternoon at Numbers. To close the weekend Tony and I will perform a Fisting Demo at the new Vancouver Steamworks.
A breakdown of events is as follows:
Priape, in collaboration with the Knights Of Malta present the Mr Leatherman Vancouver 2010 contest. It’s all happening the weekend of December 4 and 5.
Friday night is the Meet and Greet at Numbers Cabaret followed by the Launch Party at PumpJack Pub and ending up at a Play Party at Steamworks.
On Saturday the event features two fantastic programs; Bondage Seminar by Tony Buff and a Flogging Seminar by Master Mike Zuhl. Both take place at Numbers Cabaret.
At 18hr it’s time for the Leather Dinner at Fountainhead Pub, followed by the Mr Leatherman Vancouver 2010 Contest at PumpJack Pub and the night rounds out with the Official Play Party at Steamworks featuring a Fisting Demo by Tony Buff and his boy Chris Yosef.
In August I had the privilege of doing a 2 part podcast with famed Sexologist Dr. Richard Wagner aka Dr. Dick. He had been courting Tony for some time to be a guest on his show and this past week it finally happened and it was well worth the wait. To listen to Part 1 of Tony's amazing interview click HERE
Listen to sex-advice-with-an-edge-part 2 HERE
Monday, November 9, 2009
A week ago Tony published his essay entitled "A More Nuanced Position." which so beautifully and compassionately explains his support of the recent decision adopted by International Mr. Leather founder and current president Chuck Renslow and the Executive Committee of IML disallowing entities that distribute and sell merchandise that promotes or advocates barebacking from participation in the IML vendor market. The announcement, as one would expect, sent a shock wave through the Leather/BDSM community and the gay Porn Industry. For far too long the topic of Barebacking has been the elephant in the room within the adult gay male industry - everyone knows it's there, but for various reasons, be it fear, greed or apathy, we have just decided to ignore it.
There have been a few exceptions including Channel 1's Chi Chi LaRue, Titan's Bruce Cam and of course my Sir, Tony Buff who have been fearlessly willing to raise their voices. For Tony this issue was the catalyst behind the birth of the ROUGH line. I give kudos to a major studio like Titan for not only sticking their neck out but believing in Tony's vision to create a series of documentary style fetish films that are edgy and extreme with an emphasis on Risk Aware Consensual Kink and Safer Sex.
It has always been Tony's vision to shatter the assumption that condoms deplete the "Fantasy of Porn"; when it has more to do with the lack of connection between the player's making the play boring and mechanical. The ROUGH line has garnered much praise within the Industry, but more importantly it has been a hit with the fans and the real players in the community. I have no doubt that these films will be viewed in years to come as true classic depictions of extreme fetish, infused with the long standing principles of mutual respect and responsible play - Principles upheld by the Leather community that has somehow recently lost touch with it's lineage.
In Tony's essay he speaks from the heart. As his collared boy, I know first-hand that when he speaks of the importance of respect, responsibility and the value of family and community he is speaking from experience. He is walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
I met Tony during his run as Washington State Mr. Leather back in 2002. I was there when he had his first taste of the responsibility that comes with being a public figure. He may now be a famous porn star and his influence and audience is considerably larger than it was, but don't be fooled into thinking he buys into all that. He never forgets where he came from, and even if he did, his many leather brothers and sisters would quickly snap him out of it. That said he also realizes not to downplay his fame and notoriety. When you have something important to say, you want to reach as many people as you can.
I was there when Tony, like so many of us at one time or another had the rug pulled out from under our feet, I witnessed first-hand how his Leather family took care of him physically and emotionally utill he was able to get back up again with a sense of respect and responsibility, and when it was his turn to build his own leather family, he instilled those same core values in his boys, and has passed them on to a new generation. So where did it all go wrong? Why is the community so polarized over this issue. My answer may surprise you. I am making a bold statement when I say there is a solution- we've just been looking in the wrong place.
A Few months ago our "family" was shocked to learn that our local Seattle boy Timmy was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma. A very aggressive form of cancer. We immediately put everything on hold and did what any family would do. We made his treatment and recovery our number one priority. This meant taking a break from my blog. It's been several grueling months but Timmy is responding well to his treatment and the outpouring of love and support from our Leather family and friends has been truly inspirational.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who reads my blog. It still amazes me every time I hear how my story has helped you by creating a bridge between spirituality and kink.
It's good to be writing again and I'm very excited to present some long overdue posts over the next few weeks.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
In keeping with the family's strong emphasis on providing information and resources regarding educational and safer BDSM play, The Aids Committee of Toronto BDSM Education Project just released a revised version of their BDSM Safer Kinky Sex Booklet.
This booklet contains practical guidelines and advice on the prevention of Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), Hepatitis C (HCV), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) within bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism (BDSM) play. It is an introduction to safer BDSM play and is designed to provide you with information to help reduce your risks. There are many detailed resources available to increase your knowledge of, and comfort with, BDSM.
You can download the pdf and read it for yourself HERE. To help support the efforts behind the pamphlet by making a contribution to the AIDS Committee of Toronto click HERE And, if you are interested in exploring the possibility of finding sponsorship to bring this resource to your local Kink community in physical form leave a message in the comments section of this post.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
This week I continue my chat with Dr. Richard Wagner aka Dr. Dick for his Sex-EDGE-u-cation series. It was brought to my attention that part 1 of our chat last week broke all download records for any podcast during its first week after its posting. I'm delighted that our chat was so well recieved and it tells me people are searching for a deeper understanding of spiritual Kink.
TO LISTEN TO PART 2 OF MY TALK WITH DR. DICK CLICK HERE: Sex Advice With An Edge – Podcast #144 – 08/12/09
TO LISTEN TO PART 2 OF MY TALK WITH DR. DICK CLICK HERE: Sex Advice With An Edge – Podcast #144 – 08/12/09
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday morning I had the distinct pleasure of sitting down for a recorded chat with Dr.Richard Wagner aka Dr.Dick from DrDickSexAdvice.com. Dr. Dick is a Clinical Sexologist in Seattle and has been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 25 years. He is the founder and current director of Daddy Oohhh! Productions which produces Quality Adult Entertainment which is both Enriching and Educational. His contribution as a sex-positive and kink positive healing and helping professional as well as his information rich website which includes an online sex advice column and his 2 popular weekly podcasts The Erotic Mind series and The Sex-EDGE-u-cation series puts Dr.Dick in a league of his own in the field of sexual health and well being .
To my delight Richard discovered my blog and was intrigued enough to invite me to be a guest on his Sex-EDGE-u-cation series which takes a look into the world of Poylamory, fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles. When he mentioned I would be the first to discuss these issues not only from a subs perspective but a deeply spiritual one. I jumped at the opportunity and much to the delight of both of us we had an instant rapport and the result was a compelling and unique point of view that I hope people find informative and enlightening.
TO LISTEN TO PART 1 OF MY TALK WITH DR. DICK CLICK HERE: Sex Advice With An Edge – Podcast #142 – 08/05/09
Part 2 of our chat will be available next week. I will post the link as soon as it's available!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Recently I had a rare opportunity to spend 11 straight days together with Tony and the Family. I was scheduled to head down to Seattle for Pride weekend right after work on Sat. June 27th but was running behind at work and missed the last bus down that evening. It had put me in a nasty mood and I didn't want to start my vacation in that frame of mind and after coming off of a very hectic week I made the decision to take the day Sunday and get it together then head down Sunday evening happy and relaxed. I wasn't so much concerned with the fact I was missing the Pride festivities as I was about starting my vacation on the right foot. I was more excited about the following weekend when we would travel outside the hustle and bustle of the city and have the first ever 4th of July Dragon family Leather Run.
Every year SML (Seattle men in Leather) would do a leather run event called Equinox. A "RUN" is the leather community's version of a weekend retreat. The term "RUN" comes from motorcycle clubs making a bike "run" to another town. The gay leather scene was founded from the motorcycle club community which is where gay men could hang with and meet other masculine guys before gay clubs were openly established.
When it was announced this year that the SML event would be an in city event, a few members of Tony's leather family, the Dragon Clan decided to do their own run.
My week started with just myself, Tony and Timmy (Tony's new local Seattle boy) not to be confused with Tim, the old local Seattle boy. Timmy has actually been in and out of Tony's life almost as long as myself. Always quietly off to the sidelines, When Tony found himself in a jam and no one available to take care of Thomas the family cat. Timmy was given the opportunity to prove himself "boy" worthy and hold down the fort, the quiet boy from the sidelines suddenly seemed the perfect choice for the local boy position. As usual we bonded quickly and is a welcome addition to the family. Later that week the rest of the family started arriving with the pup Element arriving on Wednesday evening and Derek and his new boy JC the following day. Derek is what we call in the BDSM community a power switch, although exclusively a sub to Tony, he is a very experienced player and decided it was time to mentor and take on a boy of his own. I met JC at IML and we got along great so it was a wonderful surprise to learn he would accompany Derek to join us for the run.
Friday we packed the gear and headed out of the city to the retreat location a bit early to help set up for the long weekend. Everyone was in attendance except Rico, Tony's San Francisco boy who I still have yet to meet in person.
Instantly upon arrival with the city far away, surrounded by nature and a perfect forecast of 85 degree's I could feel the stress just slip away. I had been longing to get away and into nature for a long time and almost simultaneously we all got naked and soaked up the sun. Of course besides an excuse to get out of the city the main purpose of the run was all about play and bonding. What made the weekend special for me was that everyone at the run was family, both immediate as in our own and Dragons who are all Tony's leather brothers and sisters. This created an unusual air of comfort and relaxation with no sense of urgency. Just a go with the flow energy. It also allowed me the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and experience new aspects of BDSM and play with some of the Dragons who happen to be among the most experienced and heavy players on the Pacific Northwest. With the blessing of Tony I had a strong desire to play with a female dragon member. From a submissive point, I am very much use to my Doms being more Yang (Yang, is characterized as hard, fast, solid, dry, focused, hot, and aggressive. It is associated with masculinity) I had watched one of the Dragons Mercea doing some power play with her boy Danny and was intrigued by her Yin Dom energy. (Yin is usually characterized as slow, soft, insubstantial, diffuse, cold, wet, and tranquil. It is generally associated with the feminine) Danny had to leave earlier that day back in the city so when she found herself with a bag a floggers and no boy, I quickly volunteered and it was a profound experience. The energy exchange was very different.Less erotic and more nurturing, I found it more obvious with the Yin female Dom that the act of inflicting pain on me, and trust me she flogged me good, but there was a tranquility associated with both me as the sub and her as the Dom, in contrast if I was being flogged by Tony who embodies more of the Yang Dom energy, He can take me to that place of tranquility through the pain but the Yang Dom experiences more of an obvious high from the act of consensual domination, and contolled aggression. Of course the Paradox of true consensual BDSM is that the consciousness of both the dom and sub whether Yin or Yang always comes from a place of unconditional love and sharing. With both parties putting the emphasis on pleasing the other before themselves. The Paradox being that because of this both parties can reach transcending highs either erotic or non erotic and experience a zen state long after words. I have also come to learn that in power play if the consciousness of either party is selfish in nature, there may be at the most temporary moments of pleasure but after words experience what kabbalists call short curcuiting or a feeling of empyness, almost like a black hole. I relate it to a light bulb with the sub and Dom acting as the positive and negative pole, what keeps the light bulb from short curcuiting is the central column or the philament, which represents the dom and subs desire to please the other in an act of sharing. The philament represents restriction, the more restriction the more light (pleasure). From a power play point of view when the consciousness of both parties is to recieve for the self alone, this creates a short curcuit, much like a power surge in the flow of energy to the light bulb. there is a huge flash of light (temporary moment of pleasure) then darkness ( the feeling of emptyness afterwords)
In actuality all types of play should follow this arciotype from vanilla sex to heavy BDSM. There is no comparison to the level of pleasure and extacy one can experience with what I like to call spiritual BDSM. I aslo encourage you to don't believe a word of it, just try it and see for yourself.
To see a gallery of pictures of the weekend including a really cool pic of me being fire flogged by Tony click HERE