Tuesday, March 31, 2009


After that evening in the after hours, believe it or not we did not re-connect right away, Although I had enjoying my carefree hedonistic lifestyle, I was really feeling the pull of a deeper connection. I have always felt somewhat of an anomaly when it comes to relationships. Another paradox, when I was single I had no issues exploring my sexuality with one or multiple partners but in a relationship I am naturally monogamous. This tendency does not come from a traditional moralistic point of view but really when I am with someone I connect with beyond the physical I just don't have a desire to be with anyone else. I would come to understand the root of this later on and also see this and many other things in not such a black and white way. I will soon discover the beauty of the "grey area."
I was spending more and more time alone and using it to quench my new found thirst for learning and taking in information. I had discovered I suddenly loved to read and read I did. Through reading I suddenly found the more traditional of the 2 paths that would help me make more sense of the world and would be one of the things that ignited my desire to get in touch with my spiritual side . It was during this period I got a phone call from Tony and his partner.
Tony was in a what would be his last somewhat traditional relationship during this time and it was very open. I got an invitation to come down and visit them. I was apprehensive but curious. The weekend went well and led to a more permanent situation in what would be my first foray into dating a couple. This situation was short lived for reasons i don't feel the need to elaborate on, and there was a brief period I pulled away to allow the situation to work itself out. Tony had moved in with one of his mentors Daddy Dave Lewis and I had been itching and craving to resume exploration of my nasty pig side that Tony had successfully unlocked and unleashed from me.
During this time with Daddy Dave Tony was really getting more and more involved with his leather family "The Dragon Clan." They were a pillar of support for Tony during this time and as Tony would reveal to me later, so was I. It was during this time we developed a very strong bond and I officially became his first collared boy.
I revelled in being his boy, bondage, watersports, fire play and a first attempt at fisting. I discovered the transcending feeling of extreme sex, i had entered the dark side. It was intense and had a most surprising effect. The extreme nature and intensity of the play Tony and I explored had on many occasions had a transcending and spiritual effect that would bring me to states of nirvana and extreme emotions. I needed to explore this more. I had been reading allot about this same effect through disciplined spiritual practice, I had been exploring allot of the eastern religions and philosophers, like Buddhism, Hinduism, Yoga, Plato and Aristotle. But it would be one that pieced it all together, made the most sense and answered all those mysteries to life. Kabbalah, and it would take me on a journey both bitter and sweet that would ultimately lead to my uncollaring and subsequent 4 year absence from Tony and the Leather/bdsm scene. One of the things we did before I left was get matching tattoo's, Tony's on the left for the Dom and mine on the right representing sub. The tattoo's were kabbalistic in nature, One of the 72 names of God. They represent the spiritual DNA that bind together soulmates. As we would find out years later, That is exactly what they did.

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