Tuesday, March 31, 2009


The night I met Tony, I was well into a period of metamorphosis. Feeling as though the world was coming to an end , I had been going through a hedonistic phase exploring aspects of my sexuality with wild abandonment. At the same time I was also exploring what would later become an obsession. I had long given up on god and religion. Like allot of gay men who grew up in a religious background, the confusion of trying to come to terms with a god who loves everyone "except the fags" would leave some angry, others hopeless and a few suicidal. Luckily for me I was clever enough to see through the hypocracy and dogma and still feel that beyond all the bullshit, there was a glimmer of truth, but that would be a subject of little importance for most of my 20's.
During this hedonistic period, I had been exploring the gay religion of drugs and house music in sweaty afterhours and clubs all over the world. There were many transending moments but the ever increasing darkness of the days after soon became an issue and like everything at this point, I started to question the nature of this scene and everyone involved.
It would be on the night of what would be my last visit to a local afterhours that there across the room I saw a man among the dozens of sweaty shirtless men that night. Once I saw him, everything and everyone suddenly became invisable to me. I could not take my eyes of of this creature. Using something of a superpower I somehow possesed, I began the process of sending my sexual energy across the room. Like a wild animal when it reached him, he turned to see his prey. In that moment when our eyes met a surge of electricity ran through my body like nothing I have ever experienced and never would again. I got his attention and the animal in me was in full gear. I didn't care what I had to do to get this man's attention but whatever force took over me that night, left me charging through a sea of scavengers like a rabid wild animal leaving a pile of would be suiters in my wake. I introduced myself, he was intruiged by my forwardness, and his intuitive nature told him I was looking for something that I haven't found yet and he knew he possessed it. He hated crowds and it was apparent this was not his scene. Much to the dismay of many and what could only be described as the worse case of evil eye I have ever experienced, Tony took my hand and escorted me out of the club. In what would later become a common catchphrase with Tony, it was uttered for the first time to some random stranger as we were leaving the club. With his animal like glare, he simply uttered "MINE"

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