Tuesday, May 12, 2009
"ELEMENT"s OF EXPANDING THE CLAN - FAMILY WEEKEND PT.1
This past weekend I headed down to Seattle for what I was hoping would be a less chaotic family weekend than the last one in March during the Washington State Mr/Ms contest which Tony was producing. I had been very anxious that weekend because it would be the first time I would be meeting Derek in person. It was also the first time all the boys would be together at the same time and I wasn't even sure how Tony would cope with three boys Derek, myself and Tim (who was still under his consideration phase) and a jam packed schedule of events. If that wasn't enough Tony had extended an invitation to Element a young pup he had met a few weeks earlier on a trip to Portland who Tony invited up to Seattle earlier in the week to test him out and make sure he was up for the challenge of being in Tony's next feature in the fetish line.
The weekend was busy to say the least and having arrived in town last as usual, The dynamics of bonding had already started to take hold. Derek and Element had an instant connection and discovering they were kindred spirits. This left me feeling inclined to focus on Tim who I was sensing was feeling a struggle to bond with the other boys and since I had developed a big brother relationship with him, I felt myself using the time I wanted to focus on getting to know Derek and directing it to the Boy. Considering it was the first time all the boys were under the same roof it wasn't a total disaster but I wouldn't go as far to say it was a success either. But like any family or relationships you have challenges, In a Poly Family it's the same just more so. My natural inclination and ability to sense who's needs aren't being met and act on it left me focusing allot of my time on Tim so I really didn't get the bonding time I was hoping for with Derek. Luckily for me Tony and I had some great one on one time the weekend before when he came up to Vancouver for a special event I planned for him performing a demo and guest appearance at the local Leather Bar in town so I wasn't feeling terribly needy myself for his attention having had him all to myself the previous weekend.
During that weekend I had sensed that Tim was feeling a little put off and perhaps disappointed that the bond Element and Derek had developed so quickly didn't turn out quite the same for him, but this is why there is a consideration collar and a time frame to process and figure all this out before making a full commitment. As for Derek and myself, well we didn't quite get the time in that we wanted, but we did at least get a sense that the possibility was there for a great connection and being the two older more experienced boys, we had developed the virtue of patience and knew that our time would come eventually.
Tim would ultimately decide the lifestyle was not what he was looking for and although Tony and I found it hard to see him go, a beautiful shining star of a soul was making an impression on Derek and Tony and eventually me.
When Tony initially invited Element to Seattle it was for casting reasons but he soon realized and saw something special. Although only 22 he had a rare combination of playful youthfulness mixed with a depth and sense of self not yet developed in boys of that age. He was a playful and curious pup in every sense of the word. Tony soon realized after having him in Seattle for a few days that he was yearning for a sense of family and saw the opportunity to share that with him by inviting him to extend his stay and be with all of us during our family weekend. It would be a weekend that would change his life and give him a sense of security and unconditional love he so longed for. As I stood at the train station with Tony and Derek wiping the tears from his eyes as we sent him off, I knew he had experienced something profound and felt a sense of brotherhood and family he would later express the only time he came close to experiencing was when he was in the military briefly. We lost a boy but gained a pup and he has contributed a sense of humor and whit that brings smiles and much laughter to all of us not to mention a curiosity and willingness for all things kink much to the delight of Tony, Derek and myself.