Monday, May 4, 2009


"Angels come in strange packages, sometimes they look like the devil but ultimately they end up pushing you in the direction you need to grow" Madonna

During that second weekend in Seattle over drinks at the watering hole, Tony and I had an opportunity to discuss his decision behind getting into porn or "Art Films" as he likes to call them. It was during this talk that he enlightened me on another example of " nothing is ever what it seems". I must admit I didn't see much "Light" in the porn industry, but I also had no judgement for any path one chooses to take, one of the benefits of 4 years of spiritual study. I knew how passionate he had become with his teaching and work in the community and about spreading the message of R.A.C.K (risk aware consensual kink) and it was a deep concern for him that the industry was spreading the wrong message with the rise of barebacking in adult films specifically in the kink genre.
He enlightened me that through his growing popularity as a fetish performer it gave him a larger forum to spread his message and along with my brother Derek who was also in the industry they were fighting a battle and they were beginning to make progress.
It was then that I realized the positive effect of his vision and with this new opportunity to helm his own line for Titan, this would take his message to a new level. During that weekend we had an intense play session and after words as we were lying in bed he said I had to do the first film with him.The only way he could capture what he had planned for the first film was if he did it with me. Tony's vision for this line was very clear, he wanted to create a genre of films with real players, not actors. He wanted to capture the intensity and real connection that is lacking in much of the genre, and he wanted to incorporate the R.A.C.K. (risk aware consensual kink) philosophy into the films with a strong emphasis on safe sex without being to preachy.
He left me with the proposal to ponder till our next visit. I wish i could say I jumped at the opportunity but this was a big decision and I needed to ponder the spiritual consequences of such a move. I had long let go of what people would think or any judgments people would have from a shallow point of view. My only concerns were spiritual in nature. After some pondering I decided that the consciousness behind Tony's vision was directed at creating a positive and healthy change in what some perceive as a dark industry. Kabbalah teaches that it is out of darkness that we have the opportunity to reveal Light. I realized the opportunity and when I made the decision to be back in his life, I was in 100%. I decided that I had to do it, plus I'm always looking for an opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and this certainly would do it. Tony reassured me that Titan who he has been performing for exclusively were Top notch and one of the few studio's who's films are 100% safe sex and they are very active in raising awareness within the community as well as giving back.
So off I went to San Fran for my first shoot and it went amazingly. Titan is an amazing studio and good people and if I must say so myself what we captured was an incredible never before seen on film fetish scene, and the connection and intensity that Tony and I share really comes off in the film. It is another example of the paradox of life. It's a fine example that you can't make judgements about people and the choices people make because ultimately you never know where someone is going to end up. It's a fine example that out of darkness comes Light.
If extreme fetish is your thing and you want to puchase a copy I will post details as soon as I receive them. A WARNING: This film is not for the faint of heart!

1 comment:

  1. it's with toal admiration this slavedog watches from afar as this line grows alongside Buffs dream. the fact He's been so insistant in how He wants to craft this series/line of films is a testament to His character.

    the community need people like Him: real, honest and true. far too often i see a cicus sideshow, that as soon as the glare of the flashbulbs are off, are not there for the people that need them most. (they know who they are).

    a new age dawns, and from the bottom of my heart - i'm so bloody proud to know you guys and be a small part of your lives.